Curve Confessions"You are more then enough...JUST as you are"
Growing up I wasn't like the other girls at school. Most young women hit puberty in middle school, or high school and well...I hit puberty at the age of 9. Having a woman's body in the 4th grade wasn't popular, nor was it considered beautiful. As a competitive swimmer I was working out 2 hours a day, 5 days a week and I was still a size 12 on a 5'9" frame. I had big strong thighs, hips, and curves. In the 4th grade was when the bullying began. The kids at school began calling me names, which gave me a one way ticket to becoming the reject of my school. Running home from school one day, I looked in the mirror, and saw myself through the eyes of those who had made fun of me. Needless to say, my hatred for my body began that day at the age of 9. I began working out at the gym at the age of 12, on top of my 2 hour swim practices to get thinner. When that didn't work, I began dieting, and when dieting didn't work, I began to starve myself. My hatred for my curves, thighs, butt and hips grew over the years as anorexia developed into bulimia. All I saw when I passed by the magazines in the stores were diet adds promoting flat stomachs, and women who were able to stand with their feet together and still have a thigh gap. I hated my body, and believed that no man could ever love me for my shape. Who told me this? The media. It was plastered all over the commercials, billboard ads, and magazines. These messages screamed out to young women all over the world including me, telling us that we need to be thin, with the perfect body to be accepted and loved by a man. Then one say something struck me, if I couldn't learn how to love my body then how can I expect a man to love my body. These negative messages destroyed the way I thought about myself and the way I saw myself. So in order to change the way I saw myself, I needed to change the mirror I was looking into. When I looked into the mirror of society, all I saw were flaws. But when I looked into the mirror of Gods eyes, all saw was the beautiful creation I was made to be. I didn’t see what I wasn’t, I saw what I WAS. My journey to self acceptance and self love continued even after recovering from eating disorders at the age of 18. I have learned along the way, that comparing myself to others will kill the way I see myself. Even now when I pass by the magazines at the store, or see the perfect models in the windows at the mall. I am still tempted to change my body to look like theirs, in order to be accepted, loved and validated. When this happens, I continually go back to the canvas of my life, and ask God to help me see myself the way He does. When I do this, I am able to see myself through his eyes. Resulting in me being able to see myself as beautiful, just as He sees me as beautiful and understanding in my heart that I am more then enough…just as I am. Remember girls, thigh gaps, hip bones sticking out, and a flat stomach can't buy you happiness. It can't buy you popularity, acceptance, love or true peace. I have met models in the modeling industry who have the thigh gap, hip bones sticking out, and a flat stomach. Yet still they don't feel good enough, beautiful enough, or happy. I have also seen girls when I was in rehab for my eating disorder, who were starved down to the bone. Yet still even at 80 pounds, the thigh gap, and flat stomach didn't buy them the happiness the media promised them. You can go on all the diets and exercise plans in the world. But if you don't make a choice to love yourself from the inside out, those things will never make you happy. Choose today to love the person you were born to be, choose to focus on what you love about your body instead of what you hate about your body. Self love can't be bought in a diet pill or wardrobe...it's found by having a loving relationship with the person you were born to be.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
Author
Christina is passionate about restoring value, purpose, identity and beauty to the young women of this generation. Follow- @beauty_hasnosize Archives
February 2018
Categories |