Why would you want to be a duplicate of someone else, when you were created to be an original?
As I look around at society, I see a lot of people trying to be like someone else. They are trying to copy the fashions they see in the magazines, trying to wear their hair like the celebrity on the red carpet, and have the same size waist as the models on the runway. I’m not saying wanting to be in fashion is bad at all. What I am saying is that, when people try to be like everyone else, everyone ends up looking the same, acting the same and having the same interests. We end up being a product of someone else’s likes, someone else’s clothing style, someone else’s hair styles, and someone else’s interests. Without every developing our own unique clothing style, hair style, and interests.
Let’s go back to middle school for example, which for me was way back to 2003. Back when Hollister, Abercrombie and Fitch, and Tiffanies jewelry were the “in” thing. I know what your thinking “Middle schoolers with Tiffanies jewelry?” Yes I know it’s a bit out there, but that was the trend at the time. I remember getting a sterling silver charm bracelet, with a heart on it from Sears, because I saw the movie Legally Blonde and I just had to have the same jewelry as lead actress Reese Witherspoon. Going to school the next day, I had many girls come up to me and turn my bracelet around examining it. After they did this, they looked up at me and asked “Is this Tiffany’s?” Honestly in my mind, I was wondering “Who the heck is Tiffany?” “Ummm sure” I blurted out, completely clueless to who or what Tiffany’s was. That night I remember going home and googling what Tiffany’s was, what I found astonished me. The same bracelet I was wearing, that Tiffany’s also sold, went for a minimum of 350 dollars. I’m pretty sure my jaw dropped to the floor that day. Looking at my heart bracelet that was only 30 dollars, I realized that the girls at school were asking if I had got my bracelet from this expensive jewelry store. Ashamed to show up to school with it the next day because it didn’t have the little “Tiffany’s” engraving on it, I put it away in my closet. “There is no way I can’t be seen with this at school,” I told myself.
As middle school continued, I learned that I needed to get the same clothing as everyone else if I wanted to survive. Dragging my mother to the mall, I took her into Hollister, her response was “I don’t understand who would pay 45 dollars for a shirt.” What my mom didn’t know is that if she didn’t buy me that shirt, it was going to be social suicide for me. Examining through the shirts, my mom looked at the prices, looked at me, and then said “There is no way I’m spending this kind of money on clothes that are torn, we are going to Ross.” After she said this, I knew that my hopes of ever fitting in, in the 7th grade had vanished. Ross was not the place to shop, and going up and down the isles I saw nothing but bad fashion. Needless to say I never really got around to wearing a lot of Hollister or Abercrombie. And because of that, I was the social outcast. In middle school it was all about what you wore, what car your parents drove, and how skinny you were. Sounds superficial I know, but at the private school I attended, that is how it went.
This struggle for materialism, and wanting to fit in continued for me into high school. To be honest I couldn’t afford to keep up with the material trends, and because of that I wasn’t the most popular girl. Now looking back I realize how ridiculous the whole thing was. It wasn’t until I reached my junior and senior year of high school that I developed my own bohemian hippie trend that everyone loved. I realized that I didn’t need to dress like everyone else to be beautiful. I didn’t need to conform to the materialist trends of society in order to be accepted. Because being original made people notice me more then fitting in. I didn’t live to be noticed by people. I just stopped caring, and because of that, I learned that I was born to stand out, not fit in.
At the age of almost 25, there are still materialistic trends that get thrown my way, most of which I cant even fit into, which is okay with me. I have learned to see myself as different and be ok with that. I have learned to develop my own clothing style that reflects my outgoing personality. The struggle to fit in, still comes now and again. But when that happens, I just go back to the drawing board of my life, where I have a choice to either fit in, or stand out.
My encouragement to everyone out there is why fit in, why would you want to look like everyone else, when we were all created to be different and unique? I wasted so many years of my life trying to look like everyone else, and let me tell you…it was such a waist of time, and brought me so much emptiness. It’s like I settled for pastel paints, instead of vibrant ones on the canvas of my life. I dimmed my beauty because I was afraid of being different. I would encourage you to make a list this week that is not influenced by other people, of what styles you like, what are your interests, what kind of music you like, etc. This way you will get a drawing board of who you are, apart from other people and society. Dare to be original, dare to be different, dare to unique, dare to be you.
Christina is passionate about restoring value, purpose, identity and beauty to the young women of this generation. Follow- @beauty_hasnosize